Party Jokes

[Bluebird]

A man arrived at a hotel with a lady 15 years older than him.

Hotel manager: Oh, sorry we don't allow such activity here.
Man: Oh!, she's my mum.
The Manager gave him a key. Not fully convinced, the Manager later sent a maid to go and verify...
Maid: Yes, she is his mum.
Hotel manager: How do you know?.
Maid: I saw her breast feeding him.

 

[Bluebird]

Four women walk into a bar and start talking about their sons.

Woman 1: My son is a vicar and when he walks into a room everyone says "Hello father."
Woman 2: That's nothing!. My son's a bishop and when he walks into a room everyone stands up and says "Hello father."
Woman 3: That's not much!. My son's the pope and when he walks into a room everyone stands, shakes his hand, kneels down and says "Hello, your holiness."
The fourth woman says nothing and the other three question her about her son.
Woman 4: Well, my son's a porn-star, and he's hung like a horse, and when he walks into a room people say "Oh, God."

 

[Bluebird]

Google: "I Know everything!."
Facebook: "I know everybody!."
Internet: "Without me, y'all are nothing."
Electricity: "Keep talking, bitches."

 

[Bluebird]

A zebra is taken to a new zoo and decides to introduce itself to the other animals
1st it meets a lion who explains he is the boss and spends all day roaring at people.
Then it sees a hippo who does nothing but wallow in mud.
Lastly it goes to pets corner and finds a donkey.
"Hi." says the zebra, "What do you do?."
The donkey says, "Take your damn pajamas off and I'll show you."

 

[Hunnie]

haha, lots of jokes for me to use for party.

 

[Bluebird]

haha, lots of jokes for me to use for party.

Anything for Hunnie. If Hunnie's happy, Bluebird will, too.

 

[Bluebird]

I was in the garden when my next door neighbor came out, topless.
I hadn't noticed before how big they were; I was mesmerized as they bounced and wobbled, with every movement.
Then a voice came from the neighbor's house that broke the spell.
"Put your top back on, you'll freak out the neighbors," shouted his wife.

 

[Bluebird]

A little boy is playing with his new football and a little girl asks if she can play.

He tells her, "No. These are for boys."
The little girl runs into the house and tells her mother. The next day the girl sticks her tongue out at the boy and waves her new football in his face.
The little boy angrily points to his boy's bike and says, "Oh yeah?, Well, only boys can get these!."
But the next day, the little girl has the same bike. The little boy gets furious, pulls down his pants, points to his unit, and says, "Look, only boys have these and your mom can't buy you one!."
The next day he walks by and the little girl promptly pulls up her dress, points to her bits, and proclaims, "My mother tells me that as long as I have one of these, I can have as many of those as I want."

 

[Bluebird]

A man dies.
God asks angel, "Was he married?."
Angel says,"Yes."
God says, "Take him to heaven, he had already been through hell!."

 

[Bluebird]

A young boy starts a conversation with a priest.

He says, "God made the first man and woman, right?."
"Indeed," replies the priest.
"And....they were naked in the garden, right?."
"Well, yes," replies the priest, now eager to get away.
"And...God watched them, right?."
"Naturally," replies the priest, with a shocked expression.
"So God invented porn, right?!."

 

[Bluebird]

Approach with caution!!!>

The trouser snake is the world most dangerous snake. Color varies from pink to black. It is fangless, average length is 5 to 9 inches depending on subspecies. Usually appears in bedrooms but found in unusual places at times. Attacks women in lower part of the abdominal area. Its highly venomous spit can cause prolonged swelling lasting 9 months. It has also been known to attack men from behind.

 

[Rose Lee]

After spending the night at a hotel with an escort, a politician took $300 out of his wallet and placed it on the dressing table.
" Thanks," the girl said. " But I charge only $20. "
" Twenty bucks for the entire night? ", the amazed politician replied. " You can't make a living on that. "
" Oh, don't worry, " the girl replied. " I do a little blackmail on the side. "

Good girl! Lol

 

[Bluebird]

Man and woman get married.
Priest says to the man, "Can I have a quiet word?."
"Of course," the man replies.
"Bit of advice, always treat your wife with love, don't allow lust to tempt you,
and you will be accepted into the gate of heaven."
"Okay," says the man. "That I can do."
6 months later..... man re-visits the priest....
"Priest, I have disappointed you!. I have allowed lust overcome me. My wife bent over and all she had on was a pair of sexy black laced stockings!. So i took her there and then, it was like hell yeah!!!, I am so sorry."
Priest replies, "It's okay I'm sure that the gate of heaven is still open to you as long this is the last time!."
Man says,"Yeah, but now I liked the hell yeah gate!!!."

 

[Bluebird]

The difference between good girls and bad girls...

Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot. Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.
Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it. Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it.
Good girls wax their floors. Bad girls wax their bikini lines.
Good girls blush during love scenes in a movie. Bad girls know they could do it better.
Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls. Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls.
Good girls wear high heels to work. Bad girls wear high heels to bed.
Good girls say, "Don't.... Stop!!!..." Bad girls say, "Don't Stop!!!..."