True

Discussion in 'Poetry & Literature' started by babeboichan, Sep 17, 2014.

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 1 user.
  1.  
    babeboichan

    babeboichan Commoner

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2013
    Messages:
    518
    Likes Received:
    13
    Credit Points
    Dollar
    How true it is that,
    if we are cheerful and contented,
    all nature smiles,
    the air seems more balmy,
    the sky clearer,
    the earth has a brighter green...
    the flowers are more fragrant...
    and the sun, moon, and stars
    all appear more beautiful,
    and seem to rejoice with us.
     
    PkaLotus likes this.
  2.  
    thahappycamper

    thahappycamper Level 3

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2013
    Messages:
    3,447
    Likes Received:
    183
    Credit Points
    Dollar
    Like it ......a lot lolz.
     
  3.  
    babeboichan

    babeboichan Commoner

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2013
    Messages:
    518
    Likes Received:
    13
    Credit Points
    Dollar
    thank u:D
     
  4.  
    thahappycamper

    thahappycamper Level 3

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2013
    Messages:
    3,447
    Likes Received:
    183
    Credit Points
    Dollar
    have you read mine? i need input from a fellow poet

    Two Kinds, Intertwined,
    Like the Fabric,
    Of Space and Time,
    The Bliss and Sorrow,
    Of a Lover's Quarrel,
    The Joys and Tears,
    Two Souls can Share,
    The Bond that Holds,
    Will Never Break,
    The Tides will Shift,
    When the Moon Arrives,
    But True Love Never Die
     
    #4 thahappycamper, Sep 19, 2014
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2014
  5.  
    babeboichan

    babeboichan Commoner

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2013
    Messages:
    518
    Likes Received:
    13
    Credit Points
    Dollar
    it good but if u change da fabric to sumthing dan it might sound much better
     
    thahappycamper likes this.
  6.  
    thahappycamper

    thahappycamper Level 3

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2013
    Messages:
    3,447
    Likes Received:
    183
    Credit Points
    Dollar
    change it for me bro
    the structure is off, I know.
    and the content needs improvement
    did you try reciting it?
     
  7.  
    thahappycamper

    thahappycamper Level 3

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2013
    Messages:
    3,447
    Likes Received:
    183
    Credit Points
    Dollar
    I changed it. :D

    Two Kinds, Intertwined,
    Like the Fabric,
    Of Space and Time,
    The Bliss and Sorrow,
    Of a Lover's Quarrel,
    The Joys and Tears,
    Two Souls can Share,
    The Bond that Holds,
    Will Never Break,
    The Tides will Shift,
    When the Moon Arrives,
    But True Love Never Die
     
  8.  
    babeboichan

    babeboichan Commoner

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2013
    Messages:
    518
    Likes Received:
    13
    Credit Points
    Dollar
    lol i dunno if diz sound any better
     
  9.  
    thahappycamper

    thahappycamper Level 3

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2013
    Messages:
    3,447
    Likes Received:
    183
    Credit Points
    Dollar
    I like it "grapevine" sounds good, let's see

    Two Kinds, Intertwined,
    Like Grapes on a Vine,
    The Bliss and Sorrow,
    Of a Lover's Quarrel,
    The Joys and Tears,
    Two Souls can Share,
    The Bond that Holds,
    Will Never Be Sold

    The Tides will Shift,
    When the Moon Arrives,
    But True Love Never Die
    Heaven and Earth,
    Mountains and Rivers,
    Love is warm like the Sun,
    A Blanket for Your Shivers,

    lolz
     
  10.  
    babeboichan

    babeboichan Commoner

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2013
    Messages:
    518
    Likes Received:
    13
    Credit Points
    Dollar
    lol it was good but wen u added diz
    Heaven and Earth,
    Mountains and Rivers,
    Love is warm like the Sun,
    A Blanket for Your Shivers,
    it juz went off lol
     
  11.  
    thahappycamper

    thahappycamper Level 3

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2013
    Messages:
    3,447
    Likes Received:
    183
    Credit Points
    Dollar
    LMAO

    the whole damn thing is butchered now bro
     
  12.  
    babeboichan

    babeboichan Commoner

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2013
    Messages:
    518
    Likes Received:
    13
    Credit Points
    Dollar
    lol:roflmao:
     

Share This Page

XenForo add-ons by Waindigo™ ©2014 Waindigo Foundation.