I agree with you Phon88.
My older brother is from a gang, he always steal my money, it didn't stop me from saving more to buy my own candy.
Scared...
- Thread starter thahappycamper
- Start date
I agree with you Phon88.
My older brother is from a gang, he always steal my money, it didn't stop me from saving more to buy my own candy.
Oh my gosh, getting old is horrible for females. Guys are never a shame of telling their age. I'm going to stay low on this.
Speaking of age, that's what I'm scared of.......getting old.
thahappycamper
Level 3
Thanks Hunnie, just talking finances earlier. Shit man, I just drop 4600 on four of my credit cards. I have 3 left, 2 student loans, 2 cars and I"m done lolz. A lot of it is having the right attitude. I would love to just take that money and go on vacation to Phnom Penh but I rather invest in my future, or what's left of it lolz, just kidding.We have to be like Happy, he's in debt and he still wants to pay for a high cost university.
Khmer parents have it harder than other Asian parents and they do deserve some compassion and forgiveness for failing to be the best parents for their kids. I think what it means to be Khmer is that we have to be self-reliant, can't rely on nobody but yourself to attain the life you want here in America, including paying for own education.
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thahappycamper
Level 3
Rei knows what you look like but not us?
thahappycamper
Level 3
Thank you, I share to inspire others who decides to call it quits or just doesn't believe in striving. Hey, I rather do what Im doing now then making cheap rap video imitating black folks lol. Sorry, I had to put that in.
Many years ago, I said fuck it, I do it on my own even if it takes me forever, somehow I will make it to a real college and get the degree I want. Btw, in case I didn't mention, I did go to college for 3 years. 1 year at a technical college and 2 years at a local community college. My parents even sent to me a private school at one point. All 3 years in college, I manage to support myself while living under my parents roof. I paid no rent and they paid for my new car, and the insurance, and gas, (they gave me a stipend) but if I wanted to buy anything else, I had to come up with my own money. I dropped out and went crazy when my dad died on my third year cause I couldn't keep up with the school work. Man I just lost it and turned to drugs a number of years after that. I was 25 at the time. The picture of me that you guys see was taken on my third year. The best 3 years of my life, actually. I had everything I wanted. Hot Korean girl, brand new Honda Civic, a house in the suburbs, I had youth and perfect health, not to mentioned a great social life. All my friends were envious of me, sadly, I took it for granted and never excepted to fall so low. I hit rock bottom.
In a matter of weeks, I lost everything and ended up penniless at the age of 25. I became severely depressed and no solution or plan of action. I couldn't control my anger either and I was constantly breaking things and acting like a maniac. Long story short, it took me 5 years to even want to try again. Those 5 years felt like eternity. In those 5 years, I aged 20 years, no lie, because of the drugs. I lost all faith in people because all my friends had dropped me, including family members that were doing better financially then me. I was in total shock then I just accepted it, I had to, things were never going to change. My Korean girlfriend, basically ran off with another man and I became very ashamed of it. I started hating woman after that. There's so much that I don't tell, so much I want to share but can't find the right words.
This is why I'm so driven, cause I been through hell and back and I consider myself a survivor. I dont care how expensive college is or how much debt I'm in, I'm in it to fucking win it man lolz. and its all for myself. I owe the IRS 1400, 20 grand total on my two student loans, 33 grand on my Mercedes, 4 grand on my Infiniti, 3 grands on my billmelater, 3 grands on my Wells Fargo Visa, 3 grands on my Nordstrom, 700 on my Capital One, 1000 on my (forget name), 300 on my GE (tires), 2500 on my Macy - In two years, I will get this all paid, in two years! That's my projection.
I will have to get plastic surgery before I head back to college. I won't mention where or why, but just know I do lol. I have no fear man, I just do it. I don't cry about it or complain, I just try everyday. Trust me, a lot of you guys have it easier than me I'm sure. I did drugs, I got beat up hella times, I'm still not coping out and trying to gang bang or drift through life. I'm striving man. I got a nice ass place in the downtown area with a city view lol. Its better to try then to give up on adversity. This to me is what it means to be Khmer. Struggling, striving, and suriving lolz.
Only if every young Khmer person have my attitude, then we can all say we proud to be Khmer and other races will stop looking down on us man. Like Hamster said, most Khmer feel inferior, the young and old. They feel this way cause they see other races more successful, duh. Nobody is stopping Khmer people from doing well anymore. We can all do it man. Every Khmer I met, they just want to buy expensive house from the money they earn from conventional job. No one has advanced degree or business, there are exceptions but only a few. Every Khmer I know is doing the same thing, either struggling to pay for their house or worse, have so many problems and is toxic to be around or jealous towards other Khmers for being more successful. Man, I get hated on by fellow Khmer every time I met one! I have to act stupid or poor like them to get them to treat me kind. It's true, funny too. Explain that shit man. Personally, I only hang out with successful Khmer folks, even those I'm weary of. I absolutely cannot handle the ghetto ones because I don't want any drama. Please forgive me if my words offend.
I did my numbers, all I need is 120,000 for four years. Once I quit my job, my gf gonna support me with her 70k a year job at the hospital. She also an RN by the way. I'm a lab assitant lolz. So now you know, I was also a pharmacy technician, but I worked hella jobs man, I was even a test car driver for FORD a while back. I have hella life experience eventhough I act like a fool on here. But that's my plan, I'm shooting for debt-free in two years, get my plastic surgery done, pay that off too, and head back to school and finally close that chapter in my life. I'm so done with lifestyle man, I'm ready to retire. I have a lot of resentment towards struggling cause I'm simply born Khmer. I hope one day to find peace and forgiveness towards my family and the country, even this country and vietnam country, that all had a part in Cambodia's downfall.
The thing that irks me the most, is that I'm doing all this and I know khmer people right now, my age just partying silly. I get phone calls now and then to go but I always turn them down, I don't want to be a part of their wannabe hollywood fake ass lifestyle. I aint no star man lol.
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Children whose parents were living on government aid (true of most first generation Khmer children) could have gotten Pell grant and State grant to cover their tuition and probably have some money left over to pay for books. So in a way, being poor gave them an advantage.
The opportunity was there if they wanted it but as other have mentioned, education is not stressed in our culture. Why? Maybe because the older folks got used to living for "free" and so don't see the need to go to school and work and thus didn't stress higher education. Maybe the parents were still trying to get used to the American life and didn't understand the link between education and good paying jobs. Some parents were traumatized by their experiences and weren't getting the help they needed, therefore could not help their children plan for college. Some parents focused on marrying their kids off after high school rather than encouraging them to pursue education. And as new immigrants, first generation Khmer children had to contend with racism and violence. So some felt it necessary to form/join a gang, this of course diverted their attention from school, and if you get bad grades in school, which college will accept you? Children need motivation and encouragement to aim high and if the parents don't give a damn, then why should they? I'm not saying that the parents are to be blame solely, just that they could be a factor as to why Khmer children don't aim higher with regard to education.
The opportunity was there if they wanted it but as other have mentioned, education is not stressed in our culture. Why? Maybe because the older folks got used to living for "free" and so don't see the need to go to school and work and thus didn't stress higher education. Maybe the parents were still trying to get used to the American life and didn't understand the link between education and good paying jobs. Some parents were traumatized by their experiences and weren't getting the help they needed, therefore could not help their children plan for college. Some parents focused on marrying their kids off after high school rather than encouraging them to pursue education. And as new immigrants, first generation Khmer children had to contend with racism and violence. So some felt it necessary to form/join a gang, this of course diverted their attention from school, and if you get bad grades in school, which college will accept you? Children need motivation and encouragement to aim high and if the parents don't give a damn, then why should they? I'm not saying that the parents are to be blame solely, just that they could be a factor as to why Khmer children don't aim higher with regard to education.
iampheng
Commoner
Lil bit late for those in our generation and older, but not for the younger ones.
Frankly, I don't know enough 'bout the parents generation and their struggle before they got here so I would be making a lot of stuff up if I had to guess - but I do agree on many of the points that Hamster pointed out. I wish I knew more about what has been influential in their drive to survive. I mean, we contend with racism and violence, but their generation contended with genocide, labor camps, and then refugee camps, and whatever.
Oh yeah, and I heard bout some families who marry off or force their kids to marry after high school, but I never actually met one of those...that's interesting. Why do they do that? For both girls and boys?
Frankly, I don't know enough 'bout the parents generation and their struggle before they got here so I would be making a lot of stuff up if I had to guess - but I do agree on many of the points that Hamster pointed out. I wish I knew more about what has been influential in their drive to survive. I mean, we contend with racism and violence, but their generation contended with genocide, labor camps, and then refugee camps, and whatever.
Oh yeah, and I heard bout some families who marry off or force their kids to marry after high school, but I never actually met one of those...that's interesting. Why do they do that? For both girls and boys?
Things are slowly changing. More Khmers are going to college than before. And parents are not actively arranging marriages like they used to.
iampheng, my cousin was forced to marry at 16 to a much older guy. She didn't drop out of high school though. The reason, the guy got his folks to engage her according to tradition and he was well-off, so the parents felt the guy was a good catch not to pass over.
thahappycamper
Level 3
Oh, ok.
thahappycamper
Level 3
My gf's mom was marry off to an older guy cause he had a job and for a khmer man to have a job is considered a great catch lol....This was the 80s man. It turned out he also had another wife and he was still in contact with her lol...Khmer men are always two-timing.
iampheng
Commoner
I heard that! lol in my family, the girls are taught in an interesting manner - the beautiful ones are married off by their early 20s while the not so pretty ones are told to study hard because it's harder to find a reliable man for us lol like me...still in school LOL
Just to be clear, i'm not fishing for compliments, do not have low self confidence, or think poorly of myself but i just happen to be related to a lot of very beautiful women who now all have beautiful babies i stalk on my FB.
But anyway, good job Happy, Hunnie, Hamster, Phon88,
I might state my phase wrong with education but it's always a good source to have if you can. And i believe u all can if you put the time into it. U gotta try to find out. Maybe money is the issue but u can always issue a loan. If family is the issue then it's a different story. I knew a few ganger who r way smarter than me but they just walk in the wrong direction. Who do u blame? Parents? themselves? Both play in this part. Some parents are too busy in karaoke and 4got abt guiding their children. Some parents are too strict causing children to go against them. Just like u play guitar, the string cannot be too loose or too tight or else it won't sound good.
Me, personally, without my parents and sibling guiding me i would have be in wrong direction. And one thing, my parents never in my life hit me or my sibling even if we did something wrong. They don't believe in hitting for a better kid. They always talk and explain. We as a kid thing it a blah blah blah.. Go in one hear out another. Until you are a parents yourself then u know. But some would never knew and still act immature (no sign in guiding kid to the right direction).
If education is not for you, get a job. Don't just hang out, get drunk, rob, etc. I never saw a ganger can work in any job for long period both under the table or check. The only think they can do is be tough and threaten the society.
Me, personally, without my parents and sibling guiding me i would have be in wrong direction. And one thing, my parents never in my life hit me or my sibling even if we did something wrong. They don't believe in hitting for a better kid. They always talk and explain. We as a kid thing it a blah blah blah.. Go in one hear out another. Until you are a parents yourself then u know. But some would never knew and still act immature (no sign in guiding kid to the right direction).
If education is not for you, get a job. Don't just hang out, get drunk, rob, etc. I never saw a ganger can work in any job for long period both under the table or check. The only think they can do is be tough and threaten the society.
thahappycamper
Level 3
That's what most Khmers do anyways, but what kind of job without education lol...warehouse labor or retail, customer service etc. If lucky, yeah, you will find a decent entry to mid level job after you build your resume for 10 years. In America, those jobs that don't require education offer low pay and requires you to work extremely hard. Those jobs suck. You'll end up working long hours and get little benefits in return.
i agree without degree you'll be working "hard labor" but hey at least u got a job. I had almost every job before landing in a good place. I work very hard labor. I used to work outside 8+ hrs where it's 100+ degree. I would in a freezing place. I've been through both under-the-table and check. I had to woke up at 4am and back home around 7-8pm. If work under-the-table, no such thing as OT pay.
I see kid (teen)/ even adult doesn't want to work like that. They all want easy job. So they quit from one place to another then land themselves no where.
thahappycamper
Level 3
Goupon, I agree. A job is better than no job at all. Especially if that what's you have to do to survive, you better do it man. It's better than welfare man. When I was working for Amazon distribution many years ago, I worked in a giant freezer the size of a soccer field. Man I loved it. I felt like I was traveling to Antarctica lol....Man I wish all Khmer kids get to have a good life, I really do. I know I talk a lot of shit but I do want what's best for my country's people. Who doesn't man? I'm just frustrated cause a lot of Khmers bump heads with each other and never stopped.
Where I'm from, the old folks, they still work "hard labor" and can't seem to beat the struggle. The worse ones abuse alcohol and even worse, addicted to gambling. They drift from low job to low job and their kids suffer too from economic hardship, they can't afford anything, let alone pay for attending a high cost university. Most Khmers I know if they do make it to college, my generation at least, choose to go Techinical, cheaper and faster. I did it too, only to find out I wanted so much more, so upon graduation, I got my ass back in Community College, only to find out I won't be attending university cause I got no money like that! I was devastated man.
Goupon, kudos! You are a hard worker buddy. My uncle did the same thing. He went to technical college out of high school, 2 years. He didn't even graduate cause he couldn't pass the english class lol. This during the early 90s. He got a job offer starting pay 10 an hr as a machinist. He's been working there for 25 years now and he's makes 25 an hr. He takes care of his family, bought a nice house, cars, what not, wife from cambodia lol. I didn't have a father growing up, so he even took cared of me, (had a step dad though). In a way, I'm very proud of him cause he started with NOTHING and had no one to help him and people treated hiim poorly in life for not being smart. He's a hardcore Khmer boater. But this is where we bump heads a lot, he hated me for wanting to go college for "forever" and wanted me to take the same route he did and he became very abusive towards the end of our relationship. I haven't seen him in almost 10 years because of our views on education and work ethics. He worked hard at work, me, I work hard at school. He labeled me "lazy," and I labeled him "stupid."
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thahappycamper
Level 3
Not much to say about the initial video, just not a fan of it. I'm sure we used to have similar neighborhoods around here before. One of my older sisters used to work with the police seed program to help out young Khmer gangsters back in the days but it failed after two months.