Before & After Marriage

[Bluebird]

Deepening the emotional bond with someone you love sounds like a wonderful idea, but romance may be overly convoluted.
Even if you believe you know what you're doing, everything could change once you act on your desires.
It's sensible to move slowly now, rather than rushing ahead, since the future looks brighter from a distant.
Take a calculated risk and open your heart to the possibilities.

 

[Bluebird]

Wife: "Do you realize that during sex you always keep your eyes closed?."
Husband: "Yes," I said. "That's Thy's fault."
Wife: "Who's Thy?."
Husband: "The guy I buy the Viagra from."
Wife: "Yes, and?."
Husband: "Well, when I started buying in bulk I asked him if there was any guarantees."
Wife: "Yes and?."
Husband: "Well, he asked to see a photo of you."
Wife: "Yes, and?."
Husband: "I let him see your picture on the beach in the bikini."
Wife: "Yes, and?."
Husband: "He just shook his head, closed his eyes and walked away."

 

[Bluebird]

Wife: " Can you be honest with me, have you ever cheated?. "
Husband: " No. "
Wife: " So you've never cheated?."
Husband: I said, " I didn't say that, I'm just not going to be honest with you."

 

[Bluebird]

Wife: " You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?. "
Husband : " When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. "
Wife: " You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?. "
Husband: " Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can be greater than this one?. "

 

[Bluebird]

A married couple have been together for years.

One morning, the husband is reading his newspaper when his wife says,
Wife: "I wish I was your newspaper, then you'd give me your full attention for hours every day."
Husband: "Oh, that's nice darling," replies the man. "You know, I wish I could have a wife like a newspaper."
Wife: "Oh yes," continues the woman excitingly. "Because then you'd be able to put your hands all over me every day!"
Husband: "No," says the husband. "Because then I could throw out the old one every night and pick up a nice, fresh, new one every morning."

 

[Bluebird]

A husband and his wife are in the bedroom.

Wife: Hmmm...
Husband: What?. What are you thinking about?.
Wife: I'm thinking about us. We should be doing a role play instead of just sex tonight.
Husband: What?! Really?!.
Wife: Yeah!. Let's do it!.
Husband: Okay then, what did you have in mind?.
Wife: Well we are going to have sex, but only your going to pretend your good at it and I'm going to pretend I enjoy it!.
Husband: ...

 

[Bluebird]

There're up and down in the relationship!!!.

Husband: Honey, you remind me of an onion.
Wife: Because I have so many layers to my personality?.
Husband: No...
Wife: Oh, okay, something stupid like you'll cry when you slice me up?.
Husband: No...
Wife: Okay, you'd prefer it if I was battered?.
Husband: No...
Wife: You either love me or hate me?. I'm good in small doses?. I can be overpowering?...
Husband: No...
Wife: Oh, alright, what then?.
Husband: You reek of stinky onion.
Wife: Well, then, there will be no nooky for you tonight.
Husband: Not a problem, the wanker says, "It's Palm Night."